Jenny's Thoughts Living and Business.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


 There was water every where here, small creeks and collections running through the rocks.  The last time I was here the walking track  went between these rocks, but this time we had to walk over the tree to the right. 
The original walking track under water.

This creek running full of life.

The look out



This creek ran dominated the base at the bake of the rocks.
This area was so silent, just the wind and birds could be heard.

Vast plant life along the creek.

This area sat at the bottom of the valley and side walls.

Small bridges protect the vegetation and the people.

A view back from the look out.

More beauty.

This is the view of the walk from a distance. 

On the way in.

The map of the walks through Kataju

Life at Ularu

Me trying to keep my camera and me dry.  
Ularu September 2010 under cloud

I am finally finding the time to post some photos on my blog, “the other blog that is”, so am really happy to be doing that.  There are so many aspects to life that make it interesting and walking around Ularu and through Katajuta is one of those special things I have loved, twice now.  

Once in really hot weather when everything was a lot dryer and now in the rain, with water and life in abundance. 

The rock is a special place for me, I absolutely love it.  I will go back again for sure.  This time the weather was so cold and cloudy, getting pictures of the famous sun rises and sun sets didn’t happen, but the colors of the rock when water fell on it in different light were amazing.
As far as my weight is concerned, it is on its way down again.  Already lost 1kg and am loving the exercise.  

I have been spending less time in the gym and more time outside, now that the weather is changing.  I am loving the beach, walking a jogging on it is so rewarding and I feel great.  I am lucky enough to live just 4min drive from it or a 20 walk and at this time of the year it feels so healthy breathing in the beautiful see air. 

More on the exercise later, I am going to step it up this week, I feel the need to get the mind set really on the path.  Up to now I have allowed myself to take a little holiday from my major commitments and routine, having had my first set of nights in the past few days.  I have been in denial about the work commitment because I am a little burnt out, and it has affected my commitment to me in many ways.  One of the coping skills I developed in the past was to curl up and do nothing, which seemed to make me feel better, but it doesn’t anymore.  I do need recovery time sometimes, which I take, but I don’t allow it to take over for long.  Now its back on track, get into the plan.

 Water running down and collecting
Magnificent example of life.

 This is at the back of the rock, can be what you make it, but I see a face...
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 So beautiful, I love walking around here, it changes at every turn.
Some of the plant life.
A world of its own.
The sun shining on the wet rock makes it look like snow.  
KataJuta under cloud.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Central Australia, Ularu and Katajuta in the rain.

This is a picture taken of Ularu (Ayres Rock) under a rain cloud.  It was awsome to see it during the rain.  So much water collects around the base and it changes color depending on how much sun gets through.

Absolutely amazing colors the rock takes on in the rain.   Looks fantastic close up. 

 So much water at the bottom of the rock.

It only took a light shower to create many streams of running water to run down into many places that became small pools or water beds.   The tadpoles were quite large, some pictured in the photo above.  Such life in abundance,  an amazing place in all seasons.


Sunday, August 29, 2010

Support comes in many forms.

That was yesterday, this is today!  Thank goodness the sun comes up every day and a new energy begins, even when it’s raining….  I’m not going to blame anything apart from the fact that I reacted to my feelings of loneliness, insignificance, undervalued, invisible and probably some others in the same field.  These feelings go deep, which I knew, but didn’t have the energy or the right support at just the right time to get me past the pity party I was having.  As a result a little bit of sabotage set in.  It’s a pattern I can see in me now that I intend to change when I feel it happen again, which I’m sure it will, I’m not immune.

The thing that helped was seeing Mish’s Wednesday video.  I forgot all about it so caught up with it as I do when I can.  I listened and wished I had heard that the day before on the Tuesday.  I felt really weak and stupid for giving in to my sad sack and trying to make it feel better with old habits.  I realised I am placing far too much emphasis on getting to that goal of 60 kg by the end of this program.  This is not just about that goal, its about my mind set and the rest of my life.  Every single day of the rest of my life.

Last night I went to a farewell dinner for one of my work colleges and I got dressed up.  I wore my jeans tucked into my boots, a dressy singlet top under a shear loose top, put make up on, had my hair done at the hair dressers last week so it was easy to do and had been to the dentist that morning, so my teeth even felt younger…... and I felt hot…... I felt confident and happy and present in the moment.  I laughed with my friends and accepted their compliments gracefully.  Good medicine to cure old sad sack. 

I love planning what exercise I will be doing, I love getting out on my bike, I love the challenges I feel at RPM, I love learning to swim now, I love talking to like minded people (total strangers at times !) I love feeling my body do things it hasn’t done for a long, long time, I love feeling younger….yes younger…. which is what I wanted to feel and I love looking forward to future goals. 

I am planning a trek to Tibet or Sth. America for next year to combine my fitness with travel and my need to take photos.  I am so looking forward to my walk around Uluru before I return home after the 12wbt party.  This is what life is about now, living and doing what I think about, instead of just living in my head all alone on the couch…....

I have realised it is quite alright for me to set my goal weight between 60kg and 62kg.  This is very manageable for me for the long term and remaining fit will give me the opportunity to walk through the spiritual places in the world and in Australia that I want to experience.

It’s all good.



The sad sack emotion has taken its toll on me today.  I don’t really know were the energy went, but by the time I left work I really felt I needed recovery time and craved a suitable explanation for the lack of loss this week and I craved the need for recognition for the hard work I had done.  I took some chocolates from work that were given as a thank you from one of our patients and ate them when I got home.  I enjoyed them because they represented reward, part of what I craved.  I haven’t done that since before this program.  Then once home I felt so exhausted I went to sleep instead of going to the gym.

  I didn’t put the effort in because I really didn’t believe it would help me in any way at all, especially after this weeks results.  Then after my calorie controlled diner, I thawed some banana bread and had it with strawberries and yogurt.  I wasn’t hungry, I knew I was feeding the emotional need.  I ended up throwing some away because I got full quickly.  It was as if that full feeling represented what I thought I needed, but all it did was make me think how unnecessary it was to eat cake and how I needed to look for other ways to help deal with the those feelings that a lack of reward for hard work brings.

I think maybe I felt that if the same thing happens this week, I will be able to point to the bad behavior as the cause and therefore will somehow I feel better.  It’s just not easy knowing I worked so hard with no positive result.

I do know I do care about my health and progress and I do know now that I need to see a measurable goal to help me remain motivated and positive and to assist me to not go back to old habits.

I know I will have to start again tomorrow morning on my mental attitude and find some other ways to deal with the negativity of feeling unrewarded and invisible when goals are not met.


Sad Sack

Today I am completely disillusioned with how my body works.  I didn’t lose anything this week and I am having trouble getting my head around it.  I haven’t deviated from the menu at all, even having that lentil and beetroot salad that I’m not really keen on to stay true to the cause.  The exercise regime over the past 6 days since last Wednesday has been really good, with 2 triathlons, both using 1100cal +, 2 days of 750 and 800 cal, and 2 days of 300cals, total 4350.  This is good for me with my available time and I had a migraine on Monday, which ended up being my day off exercise.  I just don’t get it and now I am beginning to worry about how I will maintain a stable weight if I can’t get rid of the last 1.2 kg when putting everything I have into it.

It took me until week 7 to work on the mind power to get into this 100%, with exercise and diet together, now things are going slower than they did in the first few weeks.  This is not good, if I could see a reason for it I would have something to work on, but I don’t know what to change to make it move apart from taking a week off work and staying in the gym all day, which is not an option.

I just feel sad sackie today.


Thursday, August 19, 2010

What's normal

After reading what some of the members of 12WBT are achieving on the thread NEW smash it up challenge, it made me wonder if burning 1000cal or over a day is healthy.  I do realise this is a challenge the girls have decided to do for this week, (I think) and of course we are close to the end of this program, so they are really pushing themselves. 

I thought about what I have been achieving and how hard I have to work to burn 300calories. The triathlon I did on Monday took just over 2 hours and my calorie output was about 900.  These girls are burning way over 1000 calories in less time, but obviously putting in more effort.  

One said she had an average heart of 157 and burned 1002 calories in 90min.  My God their muscles must be in good nick to work that well and burn that fuel in that time.  I find all that supper human stuff a little scary and I do wonder what is normal, for a normal person living a normal life.  That is incorporating work, family,relationships, study, illness and all that day to day stuff that we give our time to.  

Today I had to go to work for 3.5 hours in the morning on my day off for an education session and felt my day had been a bit ruined by it.  I like using my days off to plan longer exercise sessions because I can only get short ones in when I’m at work.  I came home tired, probably from boardom, started to do some work on the computer (another part of my life) and before I knew it was having a Nanna nap.  I woke up at 1530 after sleeping for about 2 hours and panicked because the day was running away.  Going to the gym before it got too busy was the best thing to do, so I was there by 1550 and decided to test myself by working toward another triathlon and succeeded.  

I started with the treadmill to do the 5km which I did.  I can’t get to do any running until I have done a minimum of 10min fast walking or else my legs just scream with pain on and off for ages and running gets harder.  So, after the first 10min of walking, I started the 5min on, 5min off jog/run/walk.  I can manage those 5mins of running psychologically well, the timing really helps me stay on track and keeps that negative talk away.  As I went through it I was able to put the running speed up to 8.7 which is a real first for me.  I have never gone past 7.4, so I am feeling the progress and wanting more than anything to become stronger.  

Then I went to the pool, I am really loving the pool now, I am finding it very calming, a stress reliever for me.  It’s slower, but at the same time I am able to think about technique that I can practice to perfect.  I have bought one of those swimming boys, or peanuts to hold between my thighs to improve balance and coordination.  Also, I now have a swimming cap so I don’t get water in my ears anymore and I have also spent some time on u-tube watching “how to swim videos” and have discovered many things to practice.  

So today the focus started on technique and it made it both easier and harder at the same time.  I left my heart rate monitor on today, because I haven’t really known for sure what I burn in the pool.  The 1000mts went by in less than 40min which was a pleasure. 

Then I changed and went back to gym clothes and was off to the 1800 RPM class.  By then I found it hard, but I love the challenge RPM gives me, so by the end of it I was very, very pleased that I decided to do it. 

The total calories used 1146.  It took 2 1/2 hours for this, time I was glad to spend on challenging myself.  I would love to have that time every day, but I don’t.  So I am going to make the effort and start doing 2 short sessions per day on work days.  One in my morning or afternoon before or after work (as I do now) and the other at a 20-30 min time slot to improve strength.  

This is how I will want my life to be after the 12wbt is over.  I don’t want to set myself up for a return to old habits by going at it so hard that I begin to hate it.  I love it now.